“In March of last year, I was opening my fridge door when all of a sudden, my legs buckled from underneath me. As I hit the floor, I had thirty seconds of extreme pain, followed by numbness in both legs. There were no explanations for my fall, but I believe it may have been linked to long-term steroid use for rheumatoid arthritis. In the wake of my accident, with two broken legs, I underwent four operations and nine months of rehab. While I was in the hospital,
I received a distressing phone call from my sister: ‘It’s mom,’ she said. ‘She’s had a fall. She hit her head and broke her ankle.’ I felt so helpless. Because I was bedridden and mom lived in a different state, I couldn’t go and see her. Two weeks later, my mom died. Her death hit me hard. Mom was my best friend and we talked on the phone every day. On the day of her funeral, I sat in my rehab room and cried all day. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to go to therapy. I couldn’t talk to anyone. I just shut down. In my depressive state, I started watching Christian videos on my tablet. One night, a song popped up on my feed; it was Matt Crocker
singing ‘I Surrender.’ I had never heard of Matt or Hillsong—but by the time he was done with the song, I was bawling. Through a blur of tears, I cried out to God ‘I can’t do this by myself anymore. You have to help me.’ Although I was a Christian, I was backslidden and angry with God. I recall watching that clip over and over, every day, for weeks. The song brought me back to Christ. A few months ago, I found Hillsong Channel, which has been such an encouragement—particularly as I can’t get around too much. Around the same time, I heard about Hillsong United’s People Tour. With the aid of a rolling walker, I made it to three of their
concerts: Nashville, Michigan, and Florida. Recently, I got to meet the band. Of course, I made a beeline for Matt Crocker to let him know how that song, ‘I Surrender,’ re-ignited my faith and saved my soul.”