“God, if You are there, please make all this stop!”
“I am 20 months clean from drugs and alcohol, and I owe it all to the Lord Jesus Christ and Hillsong Channel.
My pathway back to God began on May 19th, 2018. I was in a bad place. I had totaled two cars, lost my job, had all my furniture repossessed, and my boyfriend at the time pulled a gun on me.
One night, after a full day of drinking, I took a cocktail of drugs that nearly killed me. My heart was racing, I felt dizzy and I began shaking violently. I was so terrified, I fell to my knees and cried out, “GOD, IF YOU ARE THERE, PLEASE MAKE ALL THIS STOP! I surrender.” Deep down, I knew God was there, but I always thought He was angry with me.
When I woke the next morning, I got all my drugs and flushed them down the toilet. Next, I found a local church that I now attend and booked myself into a recovery program. Not only have I been healed from drugs and alcohol, but God has broken the chains of co-dependency and my lifelong struggle with bulimia.
I have no more fear and no thoughts of ending my life. I’m not lonely and I no longer need the validation of a man. I have found the true love of my life in Jesus. God has healed in months what my therapist couldn’t do in 12 years.
I still have dark days, but Hillsong Channel has helped me to stay clean and keeps the fire in my heart burning bright! I worship along with the team as I tidy my house, and at other times, I’ll sit on my couch and take notes. I have so many journals filled with notes from Hillsong Channel sermons.
One night, I was feeling particularly restless and struggling with a stronghold in my life. I couldn’t sleep or eat, and I found myself spiraling into a depression, so I turned on the Channel and TD Jakes was preaching on how ‘there is nothing as powerful as a changed mind.’
I can’t explain exactly what happened, but at that moment and for days afterward, God literally began re-wiring me. Today, I am not the same. Everything has changed and I have a renewed sense of purpose.”