On 25th December, four years ago, I was suicidal. My 25-year-old son was serving time for a drug-related crime, my 21-year-old daughter was caught in a rabbit hole of drugs and alcohol, and my marriage was hanging by a thread. My entire world — the world I’d put first — even before God, was spinning out of control. The enemy was gunning for our family and I felt powerless to stop him. That Christmas Day, there was no celebration, no gifts exchanged and no family Christmas lunch. I couldn’t even pray. In our grief, my husband put on the Hillsong DVD, Let Hope Rise and I sat cross-legged on my red leather sofa and wept.

By the time the DVD wrapped, something had broken. In the atmosphere of praise and the word, I felt as though I had been washed and literally, hope did rise. Climbing out of darkness wasn’t always easy, but I’m so grateful to have found TBN and the Hillsong Channel, which I can now Bluetooth to my car. The word and the worship have been a steady watering for me; preventing me from becoming dry and brittle; unable to bear any fruit. Four years on, I can honestly say, God has done miracles. We are all closer to Jesus, we are serving in our local church and my daughter is two years into her recovery. Recently, I was watching John Gray on Hillsong Channel, speaking about the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony, which was a confirmation I should share my story, even though it hasn’t always been pretty.

I’ve been in ICU when my son was not expected to live; I’ve sat in hospital rooms with my daughter; answered the door to officers in the middle of the night; received phone calls with news my son has been stabbed. I’ve been on my face on my living room floor, soaked in snot and tears, crying out to God and having Jesus gently remind me that my kids are His before they are mine and that I only need to fix my eyes on Him. Throughout this journey, God has used the ministry of Hillsong and Hillsong Channel to save and encourage our family and by God’s grace, I am still here.