I dropped to my knees and sobbed until my insides hurt. “God!!! I cried. “I don’t want to live like this anymore…”
“On the morning of October 25th, 2015, I was handcuffed and taken to the county jail.
I had been there before on drunk driving charges — but this time the crime was more serious. The following day, as I considered my future, breakfast was delivered to my cell.
On the tray was a lump of peanut butter. I was deathly allergic to peanuts and in my brokenness, I wanted to eat what was in front of me, slide under a blanket and allow death to take me. Instead, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. I dropped to my knees and sobbed until my insides hurt. “God!!! I cried. “I don’t want to live like this anymore unless you have a purpose for me!”
As I wiped away hot tears, the guard appeared, so I asked him for something else to eat and something to read. He returned with food and a Bible that he opened to Romans 3:23 (“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God). His tenderness and my desperate prayer created an insatiable hunger for God’s word.
Although I had gone to church in the past and made a commitment, I had been lost and broken and often blamed God for my misery. The next seven months in jail was hell and my faith was tested many times — but I never gave up.
Eventually, I was shipped to a maximum-security prison and placed in a cell for 22 hours of the day. Although it was torture, I was allowed to have a TV and that’s when I found Hillsong Channel. At the time, Hillsong United’s Of Dirt and Grace album was on a lot. I would lie on my bunk, immersed in the Holy Spirit and weep quietly so my bunkie couldn’t hear me.
The inspirational teaching on the Channel also led me to a deeper understanding of who God is and the relationship He wants to have with me. Fast forward many months, I was moved to Central Michigan Correctional Facility, where I now play the keyboard and lead worship.
I have been put in leadership positions and work in the chaplain’s office. Throughout my journey, Hillsong Channel has been a huge part of my life. This past New Year’s Eve as the clock struck midnight, I sang Good Grace along with Joel Houston and wept. What a great way to start 2020.”